Christmas
by Tayoni
Summary: Clark invites Lex to dinner at Grampa's house, and Lex has quite a grand adventure and lots of good laughs. IT'S FINISHED! YIPPEEE!!! (This is NOT slash!)
1. CH 1 parts 1 3

Christmas

By

Tayoni

CHARACTER LIST:  So, you can keep them straight, and I can too.

William Clark            Clark Kent's Gramp

Aunt Haydeen             William Clark's sister-in-law

Aunt Meagan              Aunt Haydeen's cousin

Little Stevie               Aunt Haydeen's grandson

All the rest of the Smallville characters should be familiar enough to you, so I won't list them.

Disclaimer:  Just having fun, and I'm not making no money off this, so why is this line necessary anyway?

Comedy/Drama/Tear jerker/Parody/Alternate Universe/Wrestling match/Heart to Heart yak/Messy meal/No FotW/Morality Play/NOT slash/Toilet humor/some gross content/I'm sure there's more, but I can't think of anything else, so I'll just shutup and tell the dam story.

Rated PG-13  (I hope I can get away with that, because there are some small references that made me almost give it an R.  There's no sex here, just some talk about it, and lots of stupidity.)

Summary:  Lex and Clark have dinner at Clark's grandfather's house.  I wrote this last season around Christmas, so kindly disregard the inconsistancy with the show itself.  Consider it an Alternate Universe if you like, cause the real writers of Smallville would never do anything like this.  They don't seem to want Clark to have more than a paperbag type of personality, and don't even let Lex laugh come to think of it.  Pity.  Show's far too serious.  Anyway, I was feeling all Christmasy and missing a good friend of mine, and this plot bunny invaded my day. 

**SMALLVILLE:  CHRISTMAS  **

       Lex Luthor was thinking about his Christmas tree.  It was perfectly angled, and straight.  There were no lopsided branches, and none were missing.  The decorations were all color coordinated to blend in properly with the room.  The professional decorator he'd hired had seen to that.  The woman had even purchased some pine scented spray so that it would smell like a real tree.  He'd had nothing to do with the setup of his own tree.

       The three Kent's had gone out together to a Christmas Tree lot, and picked out a fat little pine tree, brought it home and set it up.  Most of the gaudy decorations on it had been hand made by Clark and Mrs. Kent, and the collection had accumulated through the years.  

       The strings of big colorfull blinking lights they owned were probably older than Clark.  Every bulb had been replaced at least three times.  There were silly things like walnut shells painted green or orange, animal crackers that had been shilacked.  One decoration was a Christmas tree shaped sugar cookie which Clark had taken a bite out of years ago before Mr. Kent had dipped it in shilac.  Lex thought the little bite mark was funny, because he couldn't picture Clark as a boy small enough to have made that mark.     There were paper things, and other items made out of some of Clark's old clothes.  They even had a little red sock that had belonged to their son and was now hung up over the fire place.  Just to be silly, Mrs. Kent had stuffed a lump of coal into it.

       The Kent's tree looked terrible because none of the decorations matched.  The tree was lopsided and already drying out, and needles were turning brown and falling off.  They'd have to get rid of the thing soon, Lex thought.

       It was the best looking Christmas tree he'd ever seen in his life.

       Little things like that always made Lex envious of his friend, but that was an emotion he tried hard to push aside and ignore.

       When Clark came along, still in his pajamas, Lex grinned and handed him a gift that was not only neatly wrapped, but perfectly wrapped, and the packaging had actually cost him more than the gift. 

       Clark smiled toothily, and sat down on the floor and tore into it and let shreds of paper fly.  He was like a present unwrapping machine.  Lex marvelled at his ability to make such a mundane thing into such fun.  At last he pulled the bright red hooded and in-style sweatshirt out of the box.  His favorite team logo was on it.  He stared at it, blinked.

       Lex lifted his brows.  He'd thought Clark would like it.  His silence was disaspointing to say the least.

       "WOW!"  Clark exclaimed smiling from ear to ear.  "I GOT IT!  I GOT MY SWEATSHIRT!"  He said and shuddered because his voice squeaked.  He carried his sweatshirt to the couch and sat down next to Lex, and threw his arms around him.

       Lex startled and then laughed.

       "Shiney baldee head man, got me what I always wanted!"  He said and hugged him.

       "ClaAark!"  He complained.

       "Oh, sorry..."  He said and patted his head and hugged him harder.  "I didn't mean to insult the head."

       Lex couldn't help laughing and patted Clark's back and pushed him away.  "Okay, Okay.  I get the point you liked it."

       Clark smiled broadly at him and then right in front of him, pulled his pajama shirt off and put the sweatshirt on.  It was oversized, the way it was supposed to be.  "Awesome."  He said and petted one sleeve.

       Lex felt himself flushing, but he felt good too.  He'd never felt so good before after having given someone a gift.  Clark's reactions to gifts were wonderfull, especially when he got something that he'd been wanting to have, like that sweatshirt.  

       He'd spent a fortune on a single gift for his father, who'd looked at it and put it aside without so much as grinning a little bit.  Lex too had looked at the fourty thousand dollar peice of junk his father had bought for him, and wanted to toss it aside, but it was breakable.  He'd given it to his butler, and hardly cared where in his house the vase would go.  Dad had also bought him a new car, and a wardrobe worth of clothing.  Not that he'd use the car or ever wear any of the clothes.

       On the other hand, that sweatshirt had cost him less than he spent on coffee filters.  His friend was still fussing over his new gift, and he'd use it and take care of it...and even give it a name?  "You're gonna name your sweatshirt?"

       "Yeah, so my mom knows what I'm talking about when I can't find it."  He said.  "Mmmm...I'll call it Black."

       "It's red."  Lex told him.

       "Yeah, but I call my blue sweater Red."

       "Oh.  Okay."  Lex said and laughed.

       "Here, Lex."  Clark said, put a small present in his hands which looked like it'd been wrapped by a five year old.

       Lex looked at it, then looked at his friend who was grinning widely.  He smiled brightly, then copied his friend and shredded the wrapping paper letting peices of it fly into the air as was customary in the Kent house.  He got to a box, and then opened it, found a coffee mug, and he lifted it up, stared at the picture of an unshaven man with stinky waves floating over him, and his tongue hanging out, eyes blackened with sleep.  A poor dog was being ignored in the background.  "In the morning, Man's best friend is not his dog."  He turned it around and saw the image of a shining new cartoon man in a suit and tie kissing his coffee mug.  "Man's best friend is his coffee mug."  He laughed at the joke and gave Clark a friendly shove.  "Thanks man."

       Clark grinned brightly.

       Lex carried his coffee cup into the kitchen and helped himself to coffee which was still hot as Mrs. Kent had just fixed it.  She certainly made good coffee.  Clark joined him, but got soda out of the fridge instead.  "Never had anyone buy me one of these before."

       "You like it?"

       "Next to that t-shirt you gave me for my birthday, it's one of the nicest gifts I've ever gotten."  
       "Really?"

       "Yeah."  He said.  "It's something I'll use."

       "I never seen you wear that t-shirt, Lex."  Clark said looking a bit hurt.

       "Actually, Clark, I've worn the thing out."  He grinned at him, and lifted his eight hundred dollar sweater with a Montria logo on it to show off a four dollar t-shirt with the image of a green monster flashing his middle finger.  The poor thing was faded and coming apart at the seams.  "There are only a few places I go where this would be acceptable."

       Clark laughed.  "True."

       "Here isn't one of them.  Your dad would throw me out on my ear."

       "Nah...he'd know I got it for you, and probably give me one of those looks."

       Lex made a face, drank his coffee.  "So, what are you gonna do with your vacation?"

       "We're heading into Metropolis tomorrow and see my grandfather, and I'm spending a couple days with him.  Knowing him, he'll either take me to see a game, or he'll take me shopping, probably both.  I'm gonna go to the dance at school for New Years, other than the usual chores and catching up on my sleep, I have nothing to do.  What about you?"

       "Other than work, I'm going to my father's New Year's party."

       "You don't sound very thrilled about it."

       "My dad's chef knows how to make beautiful food, but it all tastes like cardboard."  Lex said.  "So I can't even say I'm just going for the food."

       "You're just going cause you have to?"

       "Yeah."  He said.  "If you didn't already have plans, I'd invite you."

       "I'll keep that in mind in case Lana and Chloe get into a cat fight over me again."

       "They're fighting over you?"

       Clark nodded.  "Yeah."

       Lex grinned.

       "I know you wanna laugh, but it's really not funny."  He said smiling.

       Lex laughed anyway.

       Clark laughed too.  "Stop!"

       "I can't stop now.  If you didn't want me to laugh, you shouldn't have said it wasn't funny."

       Clark tried to look glum, but he failed because he couldn't stop smiling and chuckling.

       "Let me get this straight, Clark."  Lex said.  "First you couldn't get Lana cause she was with Whitney.  So you gave up on her and went out with Chloe.  Very day of the dance, he left to join the Marines, and Lana's available but you were going with Chloe.  Then, Chloe breaks up with you, gives you the 'let's be friends' line.  Then you take Lana out, and then left her at a bar to go off with Jessie.  Seemed like neither one of them would go near you for a while.  Then whatever happened that I missed while I blinked yesterday--and now they're fighting each other to have you, but you don't want either one of them?"

       "Right."

       "Why don't you just pick one of them?"

       Clark's eyes closed and he sighed and opened his eyes again.  "How can I pick between them?"

       "Try doing eenie meenie..."

       "LeeEEex!"  He laughed.

       Lex laughed at him.  "Okay, okay.  Seriously.  Just between us, which one of them do you want?"

       Clark looked hurt.

       "Out with it, Clark."

       Clark shut his eyes.  "I don't know.  Both.  Neither.  I don't know."

       "Oh boy."  Lex said.  "You can't have it for both of them!"

       "I'm doomed."  Clark said.  "I can't choose.  I can't have them both.  But if I choose, I might lose them both as friends.  They're best friends too, I don't want to come between that."

       Lex made a face.  "You're screwed."

       "That's helpfull."  Clark said dully.

       "I can't exactly tell you who to pick."

       "If you were in my shoes, who'd you pick?"

       "Chloe."  Lex said without missing a beat.

       "I thought you were gonna say Lana."

       "You want me to say, Lana?"

       "No.  I wanted the truth."  Clark looked glum.  "This is so screwed up, I don't want to think about it."

       "You got your eye on someone else, don't you?"

       Clark looked away from him, and turned pink.

       "Ahhhh!"  Lex teased.

       "No!"

       "Yes, you do."

       Clark's blush grew deeper.

       "You should ask this girl out."

       "I can't."  He said and didn't look at Lex.

       "Must be bad if you can't even look at me."

       Clark still didn't look at him.

       "Who?"

       "Someone so far out of my reach, I might as well want the sun."

       "She's married?"

       "No."

       "Now you got me in suspense.  Who is this woman who's got you so captivated?"

       Clark still said nothing.

       "Got it so bad you don't even want to tell me who she is."  Lex said, and teased.  "Poor Clarkie."

       "Oh shutup."  He grumbled, but then grinned and laughed.  "Hate that I can't control who I have a crush on.  Hate it.  Always seem to want the one I can't have.  Every crush I ever had was for a girl I couldn't have.  Then I'd get over her, start liking someone else, but the last crush would become available to me.  Now I want someone I can't even name."

       "Why can't you name her?"

       Clark blushed.

       "This really is bad."

       "I know it's bad."

       "Tell me."

       "No way!"  Clark said.

       Lex grinned.  "She's older and she's married, isn't she?"

       Clark said nothing.

       "Come on, Clark!"  Lex said.  "Tell me!  Who?"

       "I am so, not telling.  I wouldn't even tell my mother, my father, or even my guardian angel for that matter."

       "Oh, come on.  You can tell me."

       "Mmmmmmphhh!"

       "What're you doing?  Taking a dump?"  Lex asked and laughed at him.

       "No.  I'm trying to get you to change the subject.  If I mention a name, I'm afraid I'll curse myself and make it worse, and I'll never get over it."

       "You really could never have this girl?"

       Clark shook his head.  "Like I said.  I might as well be in love with the sun.  I just want to get over it and move on.  I don't want to ever mention it.  Didn't even want to admit it to myself at first.  Certainly don't want to say anything aloud."

       "Don't you trust me, Clark?"  He said and pouted at him.

       "With my life, Lex.  With everything I hold dear."  He said.  "It's not that I don't want to tell you.  I can't."

       "You can't tell me?"

       "No.  I can't tell anyone.  It'd be a disastor."

       Lex studied his friend for a minute, then nodded.  He couldn't help but to be annoyed by this.  Clark keeping things.  It was stupid, but he was his friend.  He thought he should have the right to know.  "It's okay, Clark.  You don't have to tell me."

       Clark looked a little upset.

       Lex got up, cleaned out his coffee cup.  "I should go."

       "You can stay, Lex."  Clark offered.

       "I'd love to, but I'm due in Metropolis for my dad's Christmas party."

       "Oh."

       "What's the matter, Clark?"

       "Yer not mad at me cause I won't tell you, are you?"

       "Nah."  He lied.

       Clark looked more hurt.  "See you when I see you then?"  

       "Sure."  He said and went out the door, coffee cup in hand.

~*~ Part two ~*~

       The coffee cup and the t-shirt really were two of the best gifts anyone had ever given Lex in his life.  He knew the t-shirt had cost Clark all of about seven dollars, and the coffee cup was maybe five.  It wasn't the price that mattered at all.  That didn't matter to him in the least.  What mattered was that Clark was willing to spend what little money he had to get him a gift at all.  It was even nicer that all he'd had to do to make Clark happy was to buy for him one of those sweatshirts he'd been wanting.  If he'd bought a sweatshirt for his father, or someone else in that particular ritzy social circle, it would have been sneered at.

       He drove on down the road, letting a car pass before he turned and sped away at eighty miles an hour.  That was slow for him.  The feeling of Clark's hug lingered.  The shock of having been called the shiney baldy head man lingered, but it'd been so dam funny too.  He felt good.  He felt a need to return to the Kent's house and sit on their sofa and stare at the Christmas tree.

       He tried to shake a thought out of his mind, but it had formed and it was too late.  Someone had told him to be carefull what he wished for, but he couldn't help wishing he was part of the Kent's family.  Ever since he'd met Clark he'd felt a bond to him that went beyond friendship.  It was the closest thing to brotherhood he'd ever had.  All his years in school, he'd watched other boys paling around with each other, and just wished that he could once know how it felt to have a friend.

       Now he had one.  Now he knew why his father had always told him friends were dangerous.  Especially Clark, a younger friend, and a person he wanted to set a good example for.  He'd passed over some pretty good, although shadey, business deals because he never wanted to do something immoral and have Clark find out about it.  What if Clark copied him?  That'd make it his fault.

       It'd felt so wonderfull to be hugged by someone who really meant it.  In his entire life, other than his mother, no one had hugged him and meant it before.  It didn't matter to him at all that Clark was not his biological brother.

       He was Clark.  And Clark was his friend.

       If only Clark wouldn't hide things.  That miffed him.  They were supposed to be friends.  The whole thing about Clark's new crush wasn't the issue.  It was other little things.  Like how Clark insisted he hadn't hit him with his car, when he knew dam well he had.

       He forced his brain to quit dwelling on the Kent household.  Dwelling on it made him miserable, because he'd dream he was part of it.  He'd dream that he worked with Jonathan and Clark tending livestock and crops, and that the three of them made jokes all day long.  He dreamed that Jonathan Kent was really his father, and that they kept track of crop reports and check books over cups of coffee at the kitchen table.  He dreamed that there were hugs and laughter in abundance, in between some occassional family troubles.  Even a fight between his dream parents would be welcomed because it would bring them closer together in the end.  He dreamed that he called Mrs. Kent mom, kissed her cheek and told her goodnight.  She'd kiss him back and pat his bald head, and he'd walk up the stairs grinning...

       ...and then wake in a cold lonesome mansion.

~*~ Part Three ~*~

       A couple weeks later, a door closed somewhere in the mansion, and Lex Luthor lifted his head up from his work.  He heard his butler's voice, and then Clark's laughter.  A few seconds later, his friend walked into the library, book bag slung over his shoulder.  He was wearing the sweatshirt Lex had gotten him for Christmas, and the new sneakers he'd gotten when he'd visited his grandfather.  He sat down at his usual spot in Lex's library, in front of a computer only he used, and turned it on.

       "You look uncustomarily happy, Clark."  Lex heard himself say.  "What's up?"

       "I got into honor's math today."

       "That's great!"  He said meaningfully.  "You gonna be able to catch up though?"

       "They're giving me a whole month to catch up to them.  Shouldn't be too hard.  Regular class just finished unit thirteen, and honors is in sixteen.  There's a lot of work honors did that the regular class didn't do and I'll have to make that up.  I'll be spending my sixth period study hall in the math lab with my teacher until I'm caught up."

       "Cool."  Lex said.  "That'll look good on your transcript."

       Clark grinned at him, and pulled a disc out of his backpack and put it gently into the drive.  "So what're you doing this weekend?"

       "Going on a trip to Metropolis.  I got a business meeting."

       "Really?"  He wondered, smiling toothily.

       Lex nodded.

       "Would you mind a tag along?"

       "Be nice to have company for the drive."

       "Aright.  My Christmas money puts me up to two grand.  I finally got enough cash to get a car.  My grampa said he'd do all the cosigning and he's putting me on his insurance so I won't have to pay an arm and a leg."

       "You're getting a car?"

       "Yeah."  He said smiling brightly.  "I'm getting a car!"

       "Well, isn't this is your week?"

       Clark smiled brightly.  "This year has certainly started off with a bang for me.  I get the class I wanted, and I'm finally getting a car."

       "What kind you gonna get?"

       "I'm looking for affordable."  He said.  "I'm gonna try to just get a used car."

       Lex grinned.  Clark was so excited he looked like a happy little kid.  "I haven't been this happy since you bought me that truck."  He scowled.

       "I still don't understand why yer dad wouldn't let you have that."

       "Yer not supposed to accept payment for doing a good deed like saving someone's life."

       Lex blinked.  "Why not?"

       "What goes around comes around."  Clark told him.

       He scowled.  "What's that got to do with that truck, Clark?"

       "Lex, for the record, I wanted that truck."

       "It's still in my garage."

       "Have to wait till I'm eighteen before I could have it, and I still won't take it as payment for saving your life."

       Lex made a face.

       Clark blinked.  "You really don't get it at all.  Do you?"

       "No."

       "If you don't understand, then...then...I could never explain it to you."  He said.  "No matter what I say to you, I could never get you to comprehend.  You have to learn certain things by experiencing them for yourself."

       "What experience would I have to have though?"

       Clark's mouth opened, and there was a look on his face that Lex never thought he'd see on his friend's face.

       That look meant that Clark felt sorry for him, and it was the most annoying thing he'd ever seen.

       "Okay, now we're getting into mushy territory."  Clark said.  "I got work to do, and so do you."

       Lex looked at his stack of papers, and decided to let the whole subject blow away with the wind.  He wanted to know what Clark meant though.  What experience?  Why should Clark feel sorry for him?  He wanted to press the issue, but his friend had bent his head to his work and it wasn't the sort of thing he really liked talking about.

       He got himself back into his work, and took comfort from the silent companion who sat at the next desk.  It was good to have a friend that close who didn't make him feel uncomfortable about the silence.

       Actually, he felt perfectly relaxed with Clark's silent companionship.  There were times though, Clark pissed him off so bad he wanted to strangle him.

MORE TO COME…


	2. CH 2 part 4

Christmas

By

Tayoni

Chapter two  (According to Fanfic.net anyway.  I'm really going by parts.  If I screw it up this time trying to get this next one up though…well…sorry, you'll never see this until I get my big brother to do it for me.  If this does go up, trust me, I'll be leaping for great happiness.)

~*~ Part Four ~*~

"I can't get him to take his nose out of his math book for ten minutes."  Pete Ross said.

Lex heard that and paused by the table Clark's three best friends were sitting at.  "Couldn't help overhearing that.  You're talking about Clark?"

"Yes we are."  Lana said.

"We thought he was stressed when he was trying to catch up with that math class."  Chloe said.

"It's worse now."  Lana said.

"Every time I look at him, he's either in his books, or he's working somewhere."  Pete said.

"Hadn't noticed anything wrong with him."  Lex said.

"Do join us, Lex."  Lana invited.

He sat down next to Chloe in the booth seat.  "You three look like you're plotting something."

"We are."  Lana said.  "Maybe if we draw a smiley face on the windsheild of his car, we'll get his attention."

"He's not unhappy, just busy."  Lex said.

"Real busy.  You know he made a car payment of six hundred fifty bucks last week?"  Pete wondered.

"Where'd he get that kind of money?"  Lex asked.

"At first we thought he got it from you."  Chloe said.

"Then we found out he's been working the graveyard stock shift at the Fordman's store."  Pete said.

"Wait..."  Lex scowled.  "He's working the farm, and at Fordman's?"

"Fordman's is temporary.  He's taking the place of someone else who took the place of someone on maternity leave."  Lana said.

"I'm wondering when he finds time to sleep."

Chloe and Pete looked at each other.

"Lunch time and study halls."  Chloe said.

"He's sleeping instead of eating, you mean?"  Lex wondered.

"Yup."  Pete said.

"We can't really interfere with this."  Lex said.  "It's his choice."

"We don't want to stop him from doing what he's doing."  Chloe said.  "Him being so busy isn't the issue."

"What is?"  Lex wondered.

"Something pretty nasty crawled up his leg and it's doing some serious chewing."  Chloe stated.

Lex's eyes got round.  He wasn't sure if he should laugh or not.  "What do you mean, Chloe?"

"Clark's been acting way out of character."

"That's an understatement."  Pete said.

"Gimme an example."  Lex said.

"Haven't you gotten your head bit off yet?"  Lana wondered.

He shook his head.

"Hasn't he been hanging around in your library for like the last two months, Lex?"

"Yeah.  He usually does use my library couple times a week."  He said.

"He's been there a lot more often."  Lana said.

"Unless he's been saying he's going there and really he's got another job we don't know about."  Pete said.

"He's been showing up three nights a week to use my library, and he's been there lately on Saturdays for a couple hours too."  Lex explained.

"Something is up."  Lana said.

"He's been telling us he's been at your library doing his school work more than what you just said."

"I'll have to verify that with my butler.  I'm not home Tuesdays and Thursdays.  He's free to use my library whenever."  Lex explained.  "Just...gimme an example what you guys are talking about."

"Okay."  Lana said.  "Yesterday he came in the door, and some red headed kid on the way out, bumped into him and spilled his coffee.  Instead of being the usual gentleman, Clark went off on this kid and told him to watch where he's going, and then to get the hell out of his way."

Lex stared at Lana.  "That's not Clark."

"Exactly."  Chloe said.

"When I tried to ask him what was wrong, he told me to mind my own business."  Lana said.

"He said that to _you?"  Lex questioned._

Lana nodded.  

"We let his moods slide when he was catching up in that class, but he's more than caught up now."  Pete said.  "I think something's up and he won't say nothing to no one about it."

"You're right he hasn't been in the best of moods since he got into that class, but that level of math has gotta be hard."

"Not on Clark."  Pete said.  "Math was never hard for him.  He's so good at it, I remember him baffling teachers when we were in elementary."

"If he's so good then how come he didn't get into this class in september?"  Lex wondered.

"Cause there are only ten seats in that class and they were reserved."  Pete said.  "Clark got in cause someone transfered out."

"Maybe he's sleep deprived."

"No.  Something is bugging him."  Chloe said.  "I asked him if he wanted to drop out of the paper so he could have some time for himself, but he said he wanted to stay in it.  He actually got nasty about it."

"If you guys don't think it's sleep deprivation, then what?"

"I'm clueless."

"Got me."

"No idea."

"You all try talking to him?"

"Yup.  Got politely but certainly told to keep my nose out of it."

"Same here."

"He out right demanded I mind my own business."

"I get the feeling you want me to talk to him."  Lex said.

They all looked at him.

Lex smirked.  "So, what am I trying to get out of him exactly?"

"Don't know."

"Maybe he'll tell you though, since you play the part of the unofficial sybling he never had."  Chloe suggested.

"On the other hand, syblings can be real jerks."  Lex said.

Pete nodded.

"I'm not gonna press him.  Sometimes pushing someone into talking can make them lock up even more."

"True."  Lana said.  

"We still need to do something.  He's so pissed off and down in the dumps, I can't stand looking at him."  Chloe said.

"We could always draw a smiley face on the windsheild of his car."  Lana suggested.

"With the mood he's in, he'd likely get more pissed off."  Pete said.

"What do you suggest, Pete?"  Lana wondered.

"Like Lex here says, just leave him alone."  He said.

Chloe looked dissapointed.

Lana sipped at her drink, sighed.  "In the meantime, we say hello and get the stiff return greeting and nothing more?"

"Maybe he's on the rag or something."  Pete commented.

"Yeah, pre, post, and current all at one time."  Chloe said, glanced at her watch.  "Let me out, Lex.  I have to go."

He got up, and saw Clark's car parked across the street getting out of the driver's side.  "Speaking of Clark, there he is."

"What's he doing here?"  Chloe said getting up.

"Come for coffee, maybe?"  Lana wondered.

"He told me he was heading to Metropolis to see his grandfather today."  Chloe said.

Lex sat back down.

"It's only ten, he might be on the way."  Pete said.

"No.  He said he was leaving soon as he got his morning chores done."  Chloe said.  "He should have been there by now."

"So, he's running late as usual."

"Three hours late?"  Chloe asked.

Pete shrugged.

"He's been going to see his grandfather a lot lately."  Lex commented.

Chloe gave him a look.  "Now that you mention it, you're right."

"Mrs. Kent's been going to see him a lot too."  Lana mentioned.

"If something's wrong with Clark's grandfather that'd certainly explain his mood."  Chloe said softly.

"Would it?"  Lex wondered.

All three of them nodded.

"I better go."  Chloe said and headed for the door.  She passed Clark on the way out, and gave him a usual perky greeting, but he barely acknowledged her.

"Guys."  Clark said walking past the table.  He went to the counter, and said one word to the girl who was tending.  "Coffee."  When he got his coffee he came to the table and sat down in the space Lex made for him by sliding over in the booth seat.

"Chloe just mentioned you were on yer way to Metropolis, and that you're running quite late."  Lex said.

Clark gave him a eyes half opened look.  "Sat down to take my work shoes off and I fell asleep."  He sighed.

"Burning the candle at both ends isn't good, Clark."  Lana said.

Clark scowled at no one in particular.

"You still going?"  Pete asked.

"Yeah.  Anyone wanna join me?"

"Love to, but I got practice."  Pete said.

"Some other time, Clark?"  Lana said.  "I'm on duty right now."

Clark looked at Lex.

Lex grinned.  "Yer grampa gonna cook?"

"He always does."  Clark said looked at Lana, then Pete, then Lex.

"What's up, Clark?"  Pete wondered.

"Too tired to see straight.  Did I see Chloe?"

Lana chuckled at him.  "Yes, you did.  You grunted at her, remember?"

"Oh."  He scowled.  "Lex, can you drive us?"  
  


"Sure."  He said with a grin.  "I would think the novelty of having your own car hadn't worn off yet though."

"It hasn't, but if I drive, I'll probably fall asleep at the wheel and cause a pile up or something."

"You didn't sleep last night, did you?"  Lex accused.

Clark shrugged.  He always shrugged when he didn't want to answer a question.  

It was better than a lie, Lex thought.  "What's so important that's keeping you awake, Clark?"

"It's nothing."  He said grumpily and gave Lex a glare, blue eyes tinted a dark frightening shade.

Lex leaned away from him in mock fright.  He gave Lana a look of understanding.

"Sorry."  Clark said.  "Lana, you mind if I park my car in the back?"

"Sure, just leave me the keys in case I have to move it."

He nodded.  "Okay."

MORE TO COME…

********

Thanks a whole heap of a bunch for those of you who reviewed.  I write for fun, and getting reviews is fun.


	3. CH 3 part 5 6

Christmas

By

Tayoni

~*~ Part Five ~*~

Clark slept in the passenger side of Lex's car all the way to Metropolis.  From the minute he'd flopped in that seat, he'd gone out like a light and now he was snoring.  Lex had never had Clark fall asleep near him before, but he knew from conversations that his friend only snored when he was beyond exhausted.

He managed to get the address of Clark's grandfather from his sleeping friend, who went out again a second later.  He parked in the driveway of a quaint looking and beautifully kept property.  Clark's grandfather was not a poor man at all.  In fact, he was quit rich.  It was not a house.  That was a mid-sized mansion.

He reached out and nudged Clark's shoulder.

"No.  You can't copy."  Clark grumbled.

"Clark."  Lex said.  "Wake up.  We're here."

He sat forward and blinked the sleep out of his eyes, cleared his throat, then looked at Lex.  "Feel like I only slept for a couple minutes."  He complained.

Lex got out of the car.

Clark got out too, and meandered around to the front of the car sleepily, then looked at a car that was parked up ahead in the driveway.  "Oh no."

"What?"  Lex wondered.

Clark's eyes got big but he smiled.  "My Aunt Haydeen is here."

Lex scowled and followed him along the walkway and up the front stairs.  "Didn't know you had an Aunt."

Clark touched the door bell.  "She's actually my grandfather's sister-in-law.  I should warn you she thinks everyone under the age of thirty is a child and her attic is very empty."

"Meaning...?"

The front door of the house opened, and a iron haired woman with a bright smile answered the door.  Lex immediately got the impression she was the kind of help who was more like an unofficial family member than a servant.  "Hey Clark."  She said and they kissed each other's cheeks.  "Oh and who's this young gent?"

"My friend Lex."  Clark said.  "Lex, this is Lorey."

"I'm the maid, they just don't like to admit I'm not actually a relative."

Lex smiled and shook her hand, and couldn't help but to be attracted to her warm motherly kind of charm.  She collected their coats and made Lex give her that blasted tie and his stuffy suit jacket, and even unbuttoned the top button of his shirt and rolled his sleeves up for him.

He couldn't help feeling a bit embarrassed.

"Where is everyone, Lorey?"  Clark wondered.

"Yer gramp is in the kitchen.  Haydeen's sitting in the parlor with a woman whose name I've yet to learn."

"What'd she look like?"  Clark wondered.

"Bottle brunet, sniffed down her nose at me."

"Oh.  Oh no..."  Clark groaned at looked at Lex apologetically.

"Oh, and Clark."  Lorey looked left and right.  "Steve's here."

Clark got a pained look on his face.

Lorey gave him an understanding look and gave his arm a squeaze.  "You just keep yer friend behind you, all right?"

Lex gave Clark a look.

"Come on.  Might as well get the nitty gritty over with quickly."  Clark said.  

Lex followed Clark into a spacious living area decorated with pastels and flowery furniture.  Huge picture windows let in the sunshine and showed off the cold winter greenery outdoors.

"OH MY GOODNESS!"  A woman exclaimed and leapt out of the chair she'd been sitting in.  "OOOOOOOOhhhh!  Oooohhhh MYYYY!"  She cooed and threw her arms around Clark.

"Corkey is heeeere at laaaast!  I haven't seen you in an age!"  She said, let him go and then pinched both of his cheeks.

"Ow!  Actually, it was just two...weeks ago, Aunt Haydeen."  Clark said politely and blushed.

"Like, I said, an age!"  She said and grabbed his ears and pulled him down so she could kiss his face about a dozen times.  "It's so lovely to see you, Corkey.  You've gotten so handsome!"

"It's Clark."

"Of course, Corkey!  I'm glad to see you!"  She said and hugged him again.  "Oh my goodness!  I'm so happy you're here!"  She said and ruffled his hair and slapped his cheeks, pinched them again, and kissed him some more.

Clark looked quite ruffled and crimson by the time she was through with him, and had to straighten his shirt and smooth his hair back down.  Lex wasn't sure if he knew he had lipstick all over his face now.

"Oh, my goodness, and who is this striking young man you brought with you, Corkey?"

Clark grinned, cheeks still pink.  "This is my friend, Lex.  Lex, my Aunt.  Mrs. Haydeen Houston."

"Oh, how nice."  She said with a big smile.

"Mrs. Houston."  Lex put his hand out, but she grabbed a hold of him and hugged him and pounded his back, then patted his head and kissed each of his cheeks about ten times.  She also pinched his cheeks, and yanked one of his earlobes.  In the meantime, he felt her hands roaming all over.  He was a bit too polite to squirm away from it, but he certainly felt like squirming.

Lex stepped back wide eyed, and smiling.  He wasn't sure if he didn't like the attention, but it was a little embarrassing to have a stranger maul him in such a way.  

"You really are a very handsome young man."  She said holding his hand in both of hers.  "You really must stay and have dinner with us.  Clark's grampa is fixing us a wonderfull dinner.  You look like you could use it too, you're much to thin!"

Lex smiled, still uncertain of what to say.  He wondered if he had lipstick all over his face now and felt an urgent desire to hide somewhere safe.  "Sure.  I'll eat."

She let him go and turned her attentions on Clark.  "Oh, I have a surprise for you, Corkey."

"Oh yeah?"  He said, but Lex could tell he wasn't looking forward to her gift.

"Yeah, I brought Little Stevie along with me."  She said.  "He's looking forward to seeing you again."

Clark smiled broadly and a bit too tightly.  "Okay, then.  I'll...go find him soon's I say hello to grampa.  Hey, Lorey mentioned you were talking to someone in here.  I don't see her."

"Just yer Aunt Meagan.  You remember her, Corkey?"

Clark's eyes got huge and he looked at Lex worriedly, then back at Aunt Haydeen.  "Oh, yeah.  I remember Aunt Meagan.  How could I forget?"

"It's just terrible that you didn't."

Lex grinned tightly, and did his best to not laugh.

"I'll have to have a talk with her before she sees you.  You know she's not quite all in her head anymore.  I'm afraid she'll think your friend Lex is one of those horrible skinhead people cause he's bald."

"Aunt Haydeen, that's not very nice."  Clark said in a shocked tone.

Lex bit his lip almost hard enough to hurt and by some miracle, he held his laughter back.

"Oh, now I haven't offended you have I?"  Aunt Haydeen asked and squeazed Lex's forearm.

"No..."  He said and choked back his laughter.

"Good, good.  I can tell you're not one of those horrible people."  She said and touched his head.  "You look to me like you got some kind of...oh, I don't know why you got no hair, but it's not cancer, and you didn't shave it.  Do you mind if I ask what happened to your hair?"

"Not at all."  He said.  "I got into an accident when I was a little kid, and I've been bald ever since."

"Oh, I thought it was something like that.  How terrible for you.  But it's not all bad.  You could have lost something more important like your eyeballs or your ear drums, or your teeth, or even your manly parts."

Lex's jaw dropped and his eyes snapped wide open.

Clark laughed helplessly.

Lex busted up too.  He just couldn't hold it back.

"Oh, did I say something wrong?"

"No."  Lex gasped.

Fighting his laughter, Clark got a hold of Lex's arm.  "Aunt Haydeen, we'd better go say...hello to grampa, okay?"

"Oh sure.  You better do that now."

Clark hauled Lex out of the room quickly before Aunt Haydeen could make some other comment.

~*~ Part Six ~*~

Clark lead Lex down a hall, to a bathroom first to wash the lipstick off their faces, and then Lex realized Clark was staring at him.

"What?  I miss some?"  He said and looked in the mirror.

Clark shook his head, and then reached into Lex's shirt pocket and pulled out a pack of m&m's and put it down on the side of the bathroom sink.

Lex scowled.  "Where'd that come from?"

"Aunt Haydeen."  Clark said.  "Before she married my grand-uncle, she was an expert pocket pick.  She uses her gifts now to stuff candy into people's pockets."

Lex blinked at that and reached into his pants pockets and pulled a candy bar out of each one.

Clark laughed at him, and pulled a candy bar out of each of his pockets.

Lex chuckled.  "I think I like her."  He pulled a hershey bar out of his back pocket.

"Check yer wallet."

He checked it and found the kind of bubble gum that came with trading cards.  Clark showed him that he got a pack too, and then pulled a bag of skittles out of the fold of Lex's sleeve.

"Woman must have made a fortune."  Lex said and pulled hershey's kisses out of the fold of his other sleeve.

"I know, tell me about it."  Clark said and pulled a long stick of Taffy out of his shirt, and then motioned at Lex's shirt.

"Where'd she have all that hidden?"  Lex wondered and pulled not only Taffy out of his shirt, but two more candy bars, and three lolipops.

"No idea."  Clark said and picked up as much candy as he could.

Lex picked up the rest and followed him down the hall and into the kitchen.  Both of them dropped all their candy on the kitchen table.

"I see you got the treatment from Aunt Haydeen."  A voice said.

Lex saw a guy in his early seventies, who was impossibly taller than Clark by at least three or four inches, pulling oven mits off his hands, and couldn't help smiling at him.

"Hey Grampa!"  Clark said happily and hugged him.

"It's about time you got here, Clark!"  He said, patted his back and then let him go.  "Now who's this young man?"

"Grampa, this is my friend Alexander Luthor.  Lex, my grandfather, William Clark."  He said politely.

Lex blinked and shook his hand.  "Glad to finally meet you, Mr. Clark."  He said and felt weird calling someone Mr. 'Clark.'

The older man smiled, cackled a laugh and patted Lex's hand.  "You call me Grampa.  That is unless you'd like me to call you Mr. Luthor."

He grinned.  "Lex is fine...Grampa."

"Good, good.  Glad we understand one another."  He told him.  "I'm actually surprised I haven't met you before now, Lex.  I've had business dealings in the past with your father, and your grandfather."

"Pleasant dealings, I hope."

"Business is not always pleasant, Lex."  He said with a twinkle in his eye.  "But let's just say they both considered me a worthy opponent.  The wars we waged in the office never made it out the door or ruined any of our lunch appointments."

"You and my dad were freinds?"  Lex wondered.

Clark giggled at something.

"Your grandfather and I were friends."  Grampa cracked another smile.  "We went to school together he and I.  Course he was quite a few grades over me.  He took me fishing a few times.  Course, neither of us knew what to do with worms and fish hooks until long after we met our wives."

Lex chuckled over that.  "I had no idea you were friends with my grandpa."

"It's a small world, Lex."  He grinned mysteriously.  "I'm sorry you never got to know him."

"Me too."

"You look a little like him.  Got that same silly grin he had."

Lex grinned.  "Yer not the first person I've heard that from."

"I won't be the last.  Maybe we could have a beer later and talk about it?"

"I'd like that."  Lex said.

"In the meantime, Clark, why don't you take Lex downstairs to meet,"  He grinned, or maybe grimaced.  "Little Stevie."

"Don't you need help Grampa?"  Clark wondered in a begging tone.

"Sure I do.  That's why I hired Lorey.  You go on, get it over with."

"Do I have to?"

"Oh, go on.  He won't hurt you."

"Just my pride."  Clark said.  "How about I go find Aunt Meagan and throw her down the stairs first?"

"Clark!"  Grampa said in a tone.

"I was kidding!"  Clark grumbled and ushered Lex down another hall, then down a tight flight of stairs which opened up into a finished off basement with a very high ceiling, or maybe a low floor.  He spotted a pool table, and a comfortable looking green sofa, big screen television, and a table with a tray of snacks on it.

Lex hesitated because his sixth sense was telling him he needed to hang back--or better yet, run.  Clark walked ahead and then...

Someone came running out of a shadowy corner emitting an enormous battle cry.

Clark yiped and tried to run.

Lex took a step back, startled, and watched a very large chubby boy tackle Clark, then pick him up and throw him over his shoulder.  Clark gasped and howled while the chubby overgrown boy spun him around making him dizzy, threatened to drop him on his head, threw him up in the air, caught him again, all the while he kept on spinning.

"PUT ME DOWN!"  Clark howled anxiously.

The chubby boy made sounds of great excitement lifted his hand and slapped Clark on the rump so hard...

"OOoooWWW!"  Clark howled.  "PUT ME DOOOWNN!"

Lex stayed out of the way and stared at the display in shock.  He had no idea what to do.

"STEVE!  PUT ME DOWN MAN!  PUT ME DOWN BEFORE I PUKE ON YOU!"  Clark howled out, voice breaking pubescently.

At last Steve put Clark down on his feet, then looked at Lex mischeif written all over his face.

Lex actually considered running away.

Clark flopped on the carpetted floor, groaned, and lay still.

Except to step over top of him, Steve ignored Clark and walked toward Lex.  He stood in front of him, and even though Lex was still standing up on a step, the boy still looking down at him.  "Wow, a little bald guy, weren't you the midget in that Austin Power's movie?"

Lex stiffened, too shocked at such a blatant remark to either laugh or get angry.

"I'm Little Stevie."  The humungous chubby boy said, and offered his hand.

"Lex..."  He said put his hand out hesitantly.

"Lex, don't..."  Clark tried.

Lex let out a yipe of surprise and tried to yank his hand away, but he was stuck.  The jolt of electricity was short, but he was still shocked.

Fat boy laughed like a hyena and grabbed him into a bear hug, squeazed him so hard it hurt, and made him squeak like a toy.  But more was to come.  He was lifted off his feet, head kissed, then rubbed.  "Oh, nice and smooth!"  Steve complimented, and kept on squeazing him and carried him away from the stairs.  "I got a new toy!  A squeaky, shiney baldee head man!  Think he'd make a good que ball."

Lex couldn't breathe.  "Get off me!"  He weazed.

"Steve, put him down before you break him!"  Clark said.

"Course."  He said and let go of Lex.

Lex fell on the carpet next to Clark gasping for air.  He saw Steve reach down, take a handfull of Clark and haul him to his feet like he was nothing.  "Wanna play pool?"  He wondered like nothing was unusual about his manner of greeting people.

"No.  I don't want to play pool!"  Clark ordered and reached down to help poor Lex to his feet.

Lex twisted his shirt back to rights, but didn't bother to tuck it back into his pants.  It didn't surprise him to see a candy bar had fallen out of his clothes.  He picked it up, and then realized he'd lost a shoe too, and recovered it.

"Aw, gee.  No wonder you don't wanna play pool, Clark.  It's only for two players!  Where are my manners?  Okay, let's play catch!  Lex can be the ball."

Lex took a quick step to the side before Steve could grab him.

Steve smiled.  "I was kidding!"

"No, you weren't."  Clark said grumpily.

"Oh, come on.  Where's your sense of humor, Corkey?"

"I must have left it in the car."  Clark grunted and straightened his shirt for the second time.

"Well if you don't want to play, I'm sure Lex will."

"No.  He doesn't want to play pool with you either."  Clark said and got in Steve's way so he couldn't attack Lex.  "Not your idea of it anyway."

"STEVE!  What'd I tell you about using yer cousin and his freinds as chew toys?"  Grampa's voice shot through an intercom.

Steve touched a switch.  "Uhhhh...to not do it?"  He wondered innocently.

"Get up here, gimme a hand with the table!"

"Coming, Grampa."  Steve said and rushed up the stairs.

Lex flopped weakly into the nearest chair.  "Little Stevie?"

"Little John was already taken by my Uncle Little John.  Steve's grampa."  Clark said with a small grin.

"Ah."  Lex said.

"Don't let him talk you into playing pool."

He looked at Clark.  "What's his version of the game?"

"Picking up his opponent, carrying him out back and throwing him in the swimming pool."

Lex laughed.  "How many times did you end up in the pool, Clark?"

Clark grinned, cleared his throat.  "Lost count."

Lex laughed again.

Clark grumbled.  "Ugh...think I am gonna puke."

"You go do that and I'll go find a bandage to put on my pride."

Neither of them moved.

Eventually they looked at each other and laughed.

Someone was coming down the stairs.

Clark and Lex glanced at each other...

Steve appeared.  "TA-DAAAA!"  He said, but Lex and Clark were hiding under the stairs, and they didn't come out when he called.  The two of them snuck back up the stairs very quickly while he had his back turned.

"AAWWW!  COME ON YOU GUYS!  I JUST WANNA PLAY!...with Lex's head."  He said and chased them up the stairs.

Lex and Clark ran faster.

Thanks so much to everyone who submitted reviews on my work.  I really appreciate it more than you'll ever know.  I worship the toilet seats you…errrr…

…

I worship the newspaper you put your filthy shoes on.


	4. Ch 4 parts 7, 8 & 9

Christmas

By

Tayoni

~*~ Part Seven ~*~

            Actually Little Stevie wasn't all that bad.  He and Clark returned to the game room to hang out with him once they'd gotten over the initial shock of introductions.  Stevie handed a beer to Lex, took one for himself, and handed Clark a bottle of soda.

            "Rrrr..."  Clark grumbled.

            "Shut up, and drink your root beer, Junior."

            "Rrrrr..."  Clark growled more loudly, but then he laughed when Steve let him have a sip of his beer.

            Clark wouldn't let go and Steve had to snatch it back from him.  "Uncle Bill'd kill me if he caught you with a beer in your hand."

            "My point in hanging onto it."  Clark mentioned.  "What kind of mood is Aunt Monster in today?"

            "Aunt Monster?"  Lex wondered.

            "Oh, she's bitchy, raggy, nasty, and opinioted.  She called me fat boy all the way here and told me I should get liposuction."

            "Oh.  She's in a good mood then."  Clark said with a grin.

            "Yeah.  She didn't try to hit me when gramma made me kiss her cheek."

            "Haydeen's yer gramma, right?"  Lex wondered at Steve.

            "Yep."  Stevie said.

            "So, who is Aunt Monster?"

            "Our Aunt Monster, I mean Meagan."  They both said, looked at each other and chuckled.

            Clark looked at Lex.  "Aunt Monster is Haydeen's cousin."

            "We figure she's as bitchy as she is because she hasn't gotten laid in twenty or sixty years."  Steve mentioned.

            Lex scowled at them both.

            "There's a reason for that."  Clark said.

            "Ain't shyness like for you, Corkie."

            "Shut Up!"  Clark complained and turned colors.

            "So, Lex, you wanna play pool?"  Steve asked.

            "Nah, but I wouldn't mind a game of billiards."

            "Awww...I'm not good at that."  He whined.

            Clark laughed.  "Don't let him fool you into betting.  His grampa was a pool shark, and he's a big lump off the old block."

            "You little..."  Steve shoved Clark so that he fell over on the sofa.

            "Hey..."  Clark complained.

            "My dad warned me about playing a pool shark, but I can't resist a good challenge."  Lex said with a grin.

            Steve grinned back.

            "You guys, dinner's about done."  Grampa said over the intercom.

            "Food!"  Clark said, righted himself and ran up the stairs.

            "After dinner?"  Lex wondered.

            "If we can still move."  Steve said.

~*~ Part Eight ~*~

            The three of them helped Grampa and Lorey with the table.  Lex carried a huge platter into the dining room, which was almost overflowing with barbecued spare ribs, and put it down on the buffet table.  There was another huge platter already there which Clark had delivered, and there was still a whole roasting pan overflowing with more.  Lorey put the glasses out.  Grampa put the salad bowl down, and then a huge bowl of steamed broccoli, and a tray with twice baked potatoes.  There were two rice dishes, pasta salad, pigs in the blankets, beans, candied yams, dinner rolls, fruit salad, ambrosia salad, macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes and gravey, two different soups, and that wasn't everything.

            Clark came along and put another bowl of vegetables on the overcrowded buffet table.

            "How many people are here, Clark?"  Lex wondered.

            "Except Aunt Meagan, you met everyone."  Clark said.

            "God help you."  Steve said, and then pouted.  "You poor man!  How horrible for you!"  He said and hugged him way too hard, and squeazed the air out of him.  "You poor, poor little squeaky bald man!"

            "G'OFF!"  Lex complained breathlessly in a forced squeak.

            Clark giggled evily.

            Steve let him go.  "Seriously though, whatever she may say, however vicious, will be countered with nothing but a..."  he picked up a spare rib and shook it.  "...smack in the face with one of these."

            Lex's eyes opened wide at Clark.

            "Yes, she's that bad."  Clark said.

            "Between her and my gramma, it's a wonder Uncle Bill's still sane.  Last time Aunt Meagan was here, Clark's dad was here too, and he got called a peice of filthy impudent worthless farm trash unworthy of her grand-neice."

            Lex made the mistake of letting his jaw drop.

            So Steve stuffed the spare rib in his mouth.

            "MMMppphhh!"  Lex grumbled at him, but kept his sense of humor and tasted.  "Mmmm..."  He chewed.  "Mmmmm...ohhhh, yeah...oh, yeah!"

            Clark gave him a surprised look.

            "That better than any sex you ever had or what?"  Steve asked.

            "mmmm-hmmm..."  Lex groaned and sucked it up.  "Never had any as good as this before."

            "Sex or ribs?"  Clark wondered.

            "Both."  Lex said.

            Steve put his arm around Clark's shoulders and smiled broadly.  "Clarkie here wouldn't know, so you'll have to explain that to him later."

            Clark's eyes got huge and he turned crimson.  "Steve!"  

            Lex almost choked.  "Man, you are evil!"

            "I know."  He said, and got Clark in a head lock.  "NOOOGIEEESS!"

            "OW!  SttooooooOOooop!"  Clark whined.

            "STEVIE WHAT'D I TELL YOU ABOUT THAT?"

            "Uhhh...Clark's head isn't a washboard?"

            "QUIT PICKING ON YER BABY COUSIN!"  Grampa shouted.

            "Oh, sure, Uncle Bill.  Take his side!"  Steve grumbled still holding Clark in the headlock.

            He squeazed a little tighter.

            "Oh, how nice.  Little Stevie and Corkey are playing together.  Isn't that nice?"  Aunt Haydeen wondered walking in.

            Clark gave Steve a poke in the ribs.

            "ugghhh!"  Steve scoughed and let go of Clark.

            Lorey came along and put one last bowl of food on the buffet table.  "That's everything.  Dinner's all set now."

            "Good.  Let's dig in."  Haydeen said and got a plate, and helped herself to pickles and put mustard on them.

            Lex avoided looking at it.

            "Gramma!"  Steve complained.

            "Oh, my.  Here you are."  She said and put a mustard dipped pickle in her grandson's mouth.

            Clark grabbed Lex's shoulder to support himself so he wouldn't fall over laughing--or maybe so Lex couldn't run away.

            "mmmm...hey, not bad, Gramma."  Steve said.

            Lex gulped.

            "You two stop messing around."  Grampa ordered.  "Where'd Meagan go?"

            "She stopped off in the powder room."  Haydeen said.

            Lex glanced at Clark, wondering what to do.

            "Well let's just eat."  Grampa demanded.

            "Hope she doesn't fall in and clog the toilet."  Steve said softly.  "I'm gonna wanna use it after this."

            "Oh, Steve, that's a horrible thing to say."  Aunt Haydeen said.  "It's not nice to talk about bodily functions during meal times."

            Clark and Lex busted up laughing helplessly.  Clark still had a hold of Lex's shoulder and almost pulled him over.  Lex had to grab a hold of Steve to stay on his feet.

            "Pickle?"  Steve asked, and stuck a mustard dipped pickle under his nose.

            Lex pushed his hand away and laughed harder.

            Steve put the pickle under Clark's nose.

            Clark pushed his hand away.

            "Mon, man, try it!"  He said and tried to make him try it.

            "No."  Clark said and pushed his hand away.

            "Mon!"  He said and got a hold of him.  "I'll pry yer mouth open and feed it to you."

            "StOOooop!"  Clark growled angrily, gave him a poke in the ribs again.

            "OOWww, man!"  Steve whined childishly, and evoked another string of ridiculous giggles.

            "Can always tell when Steve's here."  Grampa said half frustrated and half laughing.

~*~ Part Nine ~*~

            Lex watched in amazement as Clark and Stevie stuffed themselves.  The two of them looked like they could eat everything on the buffet table and still want more.  He thought it was pretty funny to think that he had barbecue sauce all over his face and he was wearing a big plastic bib.  He wondered what his father would think.

            He'd probably blow a blood vessel, he thought, and helped himself to more spare ribs.

            Clark, Steve, Grampa, Aunt Haydeen and Lorey were all in the same shape--messy.  He ate bits of broccoli and mashed potatoes, but mostly he ate the beef spare ribs.  They were so good that it didn't matter how full he got, he didn't want to stop eating them.

            He saw Clark drink soda from his glass and he got a barbecue sauce handprint on it.  Everyone else's glasses looked the same.  Their forks were a wreck too.  Conversation was limited to grunts and two word sentences.  He dropped bones into a growing pile of  in the middle of the table in a big aluminum pan which had been put there as a bone dish.

            "Oh, for the love of mercy herself!"  A woman said.  "It's a swine convention in here!"

            Lex looked up and saw a woman he'd seen before, and he felt the whole room rise while he sank.  Yes, he knew her from somewhere.  She'd been at a few of his father's parties, and she'd done nothing but complain about everything.

            She motioned at Clark.  "But what else should I expect when you let this hillbilly farming filth in the house!"

            Lex stiffened and saw Clark get a little stiff too.

            "Sit down, shut the the hell up and eat, Meagan."  Grampa said.

            The woman ignored his remark, and looked straight at Lex.  "Well, I think if you got out from underneath all that slop, I might recognize you.  I must have seen you on the news, painting a Swastika on a black church during one of those skinhead conventions."

            "Aunt Meagan..."  Clark started.

            "S'okay Clark."  Lex said.

            "Not that I'd care if you did.  Might chase a few of them back to where they belong.  Animals alls of them."  She said.

            Clark's jaw tightened.

            Lex knew Clark was thinking of Pete.

            "Not that your kind are much better."  Meagan griped darkly.  "I understand you're this little hillbilly bastard's friend.  Look like a pansy to me.  Shave yer head trying to make yourself look like you aren't a little pussy, I suppose?  Not that I care, but who the hell are you?"

            He grinned, and did a thing worthy of Steve.  He put his saucey hand out.  "Lex Luthor."

            Steve and Clark coughed to hide laughter.

            "Heavens.  William!  Why didn't you tell me this was Lionel's boy?"  She asked.

            "Figured I'd let you put yer neck in a noose first."

            Lex smirked keeping his hand out, waiting for her to either avoid it, or shake.

            Aunt Meagan stared down her nose at his saucey hand, and then looked at Grampa.  "At least have some manners and feed a man of his status something decent, instead of this pig food that farm trash father of that farm trash hillbilly grandson of yours convinced you was a civilized meal.  Wasn't for that bastard you'd have left the cooking up to the help, and kept them in the kitchen where they belong."  She said and made a nasty face at Lorey who was at the table.  "Not to mention you'd have a real grandson instead of some stray whore's spawn.  Who the hell knows where he came from!"

            Clark stiffened in his seat.

            Lex opened his mouth to give her what for, but Clark nudged him under the table.  He turned in his seat and resumed eating, like he figured Clark wanted him too.  Only Clark could get him to behave under the circumstances.

            "Meagan shut yer goddammed mouth.  How many times I gotta tell you, if you got nothing nice to say, then keep that ugly hole shut!  One of these times yer gonna go to far and I'll superglue yer lips closed!  Maybe that'll learn you!"  Grampa growled.

            Aunt Meagan glared hatefully at Clark, as though it was his fault she'd got reamed.  She went to the buffet table and put rice, vegetables, and some small scoops of this and a little of that.  It was all very neat on a very large plate.  None of the little scoops of food touched the others.  She sat down at the table stiffly, and took a bite of something.  "This is terrible!  William, why'd you let that impudent farm trash..."

            "Meagan for the love of God, have a care."  Grampa growled.

            She took a bite of something different.  "What is this horrible slop?  Something else yer bastard daughter's bastard farm trash husband told you was food, I suppose?"

            "Actually, I got the recipe for that particular dish from Mrs. Luthor about thirty years ago."

            "Oh, well, it's quite delicious."

            Lex felt the air getting thick and he looked to Clark for some idea of how he should be reacting.

            Clark met his eyes and then went on eating like Meagan was just talking about the weather.  He picked up a salt shaker, and Lex noted that before he tipped it over his plate he tightened the cap which Steve had loosened.

            Steve looked dissapointed.

            "Maybe you'd like to try the ribs, Meagan?"  Aunt Haydeen said.

            "What makes you think I'd want to eat food he learned to make from a dirty Hillbilly?"

            "Because Meagan, they're almost as good as sex, and we all know how badly you need to get some of that."  Aunt Haydeen said.

            Lex had to clamp his teeth together to stop himself from laughing and spitting food all over.

            Steve choked.

            Clark pounded his cousin on the back.

            Lex didn't dare look at Aunt Meagan.  He just knew she was glaring at Aunt Haydeen.  Even thinking about the look, and hearing Grampa and Lorey choking back laughter was killing him.  He barely managed to swallow the food he had in his mouth.

            "Let me get you some ribs, all right, Meagan dear?"

            Poor Clark was trying so hard to not laugh that he was shaking in his chair.

            Steve apparently couldn't take it because he fell on the floor cackling.

            After that no one else could take it.  Except for Aunt Meagan who was far too insulted to laugh, and Aunt Haydeen who was too nuts to know what she'd said, everyone was laughing so hard they were crying.

            They might have all managed to calm down but in trying to get back in his chair, poor Steve fell over again.

MORE TO COME!!!


	5. Ch 5 part 10

Christmas

By

Tayoni

~*~ Part Ten ~*~

            Dinner did eventually resume itself.  Aunt Meagan didn't say anything more, and Lex was actually disappointed about that.  What she said was certainly despicable, but Aunt Haydeen knew very well how to get the better of Meagan.  Her comment had been short and sweet and it'd shut that hag's mouth good and tight.

            He did get his game of 'billiards' shortly after dinner.  With beer for him and Steve and another soda for Clark, they hung out and played pool while all the old folks hung out upstairs drinking tea and chatting.  It didn't take the three of them long to stink up the whole basement with their after dinner bowel movements.  Clark was the worst, and Steve pretended to choke to death and die.  Then, he joked about knowing why the Kents had the best produce.  They didn't need to buy fertilizer.  They had their own factory.

            Eventually Aunt Meagan came along to bid the three of them farewell, and Steve decided to stick around a while.  Of course, poor Clark and Lex ended up with another pound of candy stuffed in their clothes, and more lipstick covered cheeks.  Then Aunt Haydeen left them, and took Aunt Meagan with her--thank goodness.

            Lex stood by while Steve played a game with Clark.  It was kind of amazing to watch them both play.  He knew Steve was good at the game, but he wasn't playing anywhere over Clark's ability level.  Not that he let Clark win, but he took the obvious straight shots, and very simple bank shots which was what Clark was capable of.

            Eventually Clark's turn at the game came to an end, and Grampa came down the stairs to watch them play.  Lex left Grampa and Clark to talk while he went and played Steve.

            Now he got to see Steve's real abilities.  They'd felt each other out some before Steve had played Clark.  Lex was happy.  They had a very good game.  Steve was his match.  He had to really play his best, and Steve won four games out of seven.  It was refreshing to have a worthy opponent, and maybe even a little better, or a lot better.  He got the idea that Steve was holding back some of his skills to give him a fair game, much like he would hold back for Clark's sake.  That was fine by him.  He invited Steve to play again sometime at the mansion, thinking even if he was better, then here was someone he could learn from.

            He turned around and saw Clark sleeping soundly on a pillow which leaned on Grampa's thigh.  He'd stripped his shirt and shoes and socks off, and lay on his back.  His naked feet rested over the arm of the sofa.  Grampa was dozing with his feet on the coffee table and his head turned to one side.

            "Awwww...how cute!"  Steve said with a bright smile.  "Isn't that a Hallmark moment?"

            Clark didn't wake at all.

            "Never fails."  Steve said softly.  "Kid always ends up napping on Grampa."

            Lex wondered if Steve would think badly of him, if he fell asleep in the recliner.  He felt a little nervous about the whole situation.

            "Relax man, I'll entertain you."  Steve said softly, and gave him a nudge.  "You wanna go walk around the grounds?"

            "Kind of chilly out."

            "Yeah, but it's windy so we can fart all we want to out there."

            Lex wanted to crack up laughing, but he held back rather than waking Clark and Grampa.  "No pranks, okay?"  He barely managed.

            "Awww...err...okay, no pranks, but I can fart and shoot my mouth off about yer bald head all I want, right?"

            Lex rolled his eyes.  "Deal."

MORE TO COME


	6. Ch 6 part 11

Christmas

By

Tayoni

~*~ Part Eleven ~*~

Lex borrowed Clark's jacket and he and Steve went out the back door through the kitchen and into the remains of late afternoon wintery daylight.

"Surprised it's still light out."  Lex said, and shivered.  He stuffed his hands into the pockets of Clark's jacket and found a pair of thin gloves and put them on.  "Cold."

"Yeah, it is.  Good farting weather though."  Steve said, and let out an enormous and obnoxious noise.  "Ahhhh..."

Lex didn't hold his laughter back this time.  It took too much effort.

"So, let's move and warm up."

Lex followed him along a cobblestone path.  "Smells like it wants to snow."

"I can tell you live in Smallville."  Steve said.

"You got a ride home?"  Lex wondered.

"Yeah, I got a car.  I might just follow you out to Smallville anyway, that is if Uncle Bill doesn't offer to let me spend the night.  I don't get to see Aunt and Uncle much since I got outta high school and I got the next couple days off.  Been wanting to see Aunt Martha."

"You spend a lot of time with the Kents?"

"More than a lot.  Aunt Martha was my surrogate mother."

"Mrs. Kent raised you?"

"Well, partway."  He said.

"Do tell."  Lex said.

"Okay."  He said.  "I've never seen my real father.  I've heard passing comments that he was already married, and a few whispers about him.  Not enough to ever be able to find out who he was.  Anyway, my mom was sixteen when I was born, and if he was old enough to be married then, he probably kept his distance to keep out of prison.  My mom left I was ten months old."

"Oh."  Lex said and felt horrendous hurt for Steve.

"Don't feel bad for me, baldee man.  I don't."

"You ever seen her?"

"Only in pictures."  He said.  "Doesn't matter.  I never felt motherless.  Quite the opposite.  Had Aunt Martha, Gram, and Uncle Bill and his wife too.  I was the only kid in the family until Clark had to come along and screw it up."

Lex chuckled at that.  "Not like you had to live with him all the time."

"True."

"So, what do you do?"

"Part-time security man for the Hudson building, and I'm looking forward to the last semester of my masters right now."

"Really?  Masters?"

"Yeah."

"I didn't think you could be more than twenty."

"Twenty-three."  He said and grinned.  "You?"

"Twenty-two."  Lex said.

"Oh yeah?  Not that you look it, but I thought you were older cause Clark said you graduated from somewhere already."

"I don't know if you'd call me gifted exactly, because I don't think I am.  My dad pushed me to double up on classes and take higher subjects, so I graduated high-school early."

"Oh, the infamous Luthors and their desire to push their kids into a mid-life crisis by the time they're thirty."  He preached and then gasped.  "Oh, sorry, man.  Bad thing to say."

"True though."  Lex said with a grin.  "I noticed Clark's quite gifted, but he's still in the grade he should be in.  Can't help but to envy him for that."

"Aunt Martha's a wise woman."  He said.  "He could probably have graduated college by now with a Ph.D."

"If he's so gifted then why's he in Smallville High?"  Lex wondered.

"Cause Aunt Martha's a wise woman.  Clark's smart, but he's got no business outside the world of teen angst right now.  He might be able to out-equate a military computer with his brain tied behind his back, but he's so dam stupid about things that go on around him in every day life, makes me wanna clobber him."

"I noticed."  He said, and walked along with Steve at a moderate and comfortable pace.

"What's he done that makes you want to clobber him?"

"You must have seen it by now, Lex."  He said.  "He believes in people to much.  There's this one kid who was around us one year.  Some little bastard so ugly, made me want to puke just to look at him.  He came up behind Clark a half dozen times, and he'd hit him, then break his stuff, push him around, bully him, play mind games with him.  That kid'd say things to Clark like, he didn't mean it, wouldn't do it again, let's be friends.  Clark would believe him, and that little bastard would do the same freaking thing within an hour, and then play the same line.  Clark kept buying it over and over.  He still does that.  I've seen people look straight at him, lie to his face, but Clark just nods and goes along with it."

"He probably doesn't believe them."

"I don't know if he does or not, Lex.  That's not the point.  Point is that he doesn't say anything.  He accepts the same apology repeatedly and then takes the same abuse.  Every time I look at him, I know someone new's taking advantage of him."

Lex let Steve's look slide on by.  He understood the look, because he gave it to people quite often on Clark's behalf.  "What about this ugly little bastard?  He didn't mess with Clark too much, did he?"

"He pushed Clark over a small cliff one time.  Good fifteen foot drop.  Pete Ross and some other kid who was always staring at bugs were around and they saw it.  Two a them took off after that ugly little bastard.  I didn't watch what they did to him, but I know the little bastard never came back.  At least not while I was around."

"Was Clark okay?"

"Luck of a rubber boned baby."  He said.  "He was shaking so bad he couldn't walk.  I had to carry him home and he had a hell of a bruise on his butt."

"Oh, he fell on his butt."  Lex laughed.

"Yeah, not the greatest thing to land on, but it beats your head."  He said.  "Anyway, he hasn't changed.  He's still just as stupid as that.  He's always gotta get hurt real bad before he sees certain kinds of people for what they are.  I'm afraid he's gonna end up with one of those women who likes to whore around, play head games, and then leave it up to him to take care of the bills, the house, and kids who aren't his.  Or she won't have any kids.  He'll sit there and let her convince him that she's doing her share just by letting him sleep in a seperate bed in the same room with her.  If he was a girl, I'd be afraid he'd end up the victim of some serious domestic violence."

"Something about Clark though..."

"...makes you want to look out for him, huh?"

"Yeah."  Lex said.

Steve paused, and he gave Lex a long hard look, and then grinned.  "Hope he brushed his teeth that day before he kissed you."

"WHAT?"

"You heard me."

Lex stared at him, then scowled.   "What're you talking about?"

"I meant when Clark gave you CPR, I hope he brushed his teeth first."

"You're a sick bastard!"  Lex said dully and wapped him upside the head with a gloved hand.

Steve laughed out loud, and then made kissing noises at him.

Lex glared, and now he understood why Clark got so annoyed with Steve.

MORE TO COME…

My most profound gratitude to everyone who posted a review.  I worship the grungy shoes you threw in the garbage.


	7. Ch 7 part 12

Thanks to all of you who sent reviews.  You guys are great!

Christmas

By

Tayoni

~*~ Part Twelve ~*~

            Even though he was annoyed with Steve, he didn't hate the guy.  Steve decided to head out, and left him with a message for Clark that he'd gone on ahead to Smallville to spend the weekend with them at the farm.  He went indoors, found Clark still sleeping where he'd left him, now tucked under a quilt, but Grampa had gone.

            Too hesitant to wake him or to sit down and also fall asleep, he headed for the kitchen, hoping for a drink.  There, he found Grampa sitting at the table drinking beer and reading the paper.

            "Grandpa."  Lex greeted.

            "Help yerself to a beer.  In the fridge."

            "I gotta drive."

            "Coffee then."  Grampa said motioning to the coffee pot on the stove.  "It's fresh.  Cups are in the cupboard left of the fridge."

            Lex opened a cupboard, found a mug, and poured himself coffee, then stirred in cream and sugar.  He sat down at the table with Grampa.

            "Yer moving around like yer still stuffed."

            Lex chuckled.  "Couldn't help myself.  The rumors about you are more than true, Grampa.  You can outcook anyone I've ever met before.  Now I know where your daughter got it from."

            He laughed at him.  "Hope you didn't get offended by anything Meagan said."

            Lex could have lied and said no, but that would have been to obviously a lie.  "I was a little, but I'm not mad about it.  Think what she said about Clark was pretty nasty though."

            "Yer truthfull."  He said turned his coffee cup around.  "She is a nasty woman.  Can't handle life no more, and she turned bitter and mean as hell."

            "I think I've seen Meagan at some of my father's parties."

            Grampa met his eyes.  "That wouldn't surprise me.  She had a fixation for your family.  Her mother tried to get her to marry your father.  Lionel wouldn't have her though, he already had his mind set on Lillian."

            "Small world."  Lex whispered and didn't mention that he knew his father had probably slept with Meagan.

            "That it is."

            "Can you tell me about him?  My grampa?"  Lex wondered.

            Grampa breathed heavily.  "I don't want to give you a false heroic image of him.  I don't want you to think he was all bad either though."

            "Please do tell."  Lex said.

            "This is going to sound pretty surprising."  Grampa started.  "We were in school together, but we didn't know each other well enough to know one another's names, and we were six grades apart.  One summer, I was working at a concession stand selling soda and cotton candy at the waterfront.  Took a break, went for a walk, saw him walking along ahead of me, then a truck came out of nowhere.  I don't know what I was thinking at the time.  I knew he didn't see the truck coming.  So I took a flying leap and shoved him out of the way."

            Lex's jaw fell.  "You...saved his life?"

            "Yeah.  I saved his life."  He grinned.

            "What a parrallel."  Lex said.

            "After that we were friends.  He was rich at that time.  Not like you are now, but he had money.  He bought me dinner, and a new shirt to replace the one I had that got torn off me somehow in the confusion.  After that, he came all the way to that side of the city after work to pick me up and drive me home every day that summer."

            Lex grinned.  "You became friends?"

            "Good friends."  He said.  "He looked at me like a little brother, and took care of me, looked after me."

            "What was so bad about him though?"

            "It's hard to pinpoint."  He said.  "As far as I ever knew, he was a good man.  If he had any dark secrets, he never let me see them.  I didn't care to know either.  But there were times, I felt like I'd saved the life of a demon, instead of a human being, and now I had one of hell's angels guarding me from evil."

            "That's quite a way to put it."  Lex said feeling himself going pale.

            "It's the only way to put it."  He said.  "There's things I learned about him, that I never let him know I knew about.  Things that will go to the grave with me.  Len was a good man when he was young, but he did some things that made me want to keep my distance from him.  I'd see the way he'd treat others, and later on, I saw how he treated his wife, and his son.  I didn't like it much."

            Lex swallowed coffee, listened.

            "I guess in a way I was a little like Clark.  I accepted lies, went along with them, and then the lies got bigger and bigger.  I always thought if I hadn't let Len get away with that first lie he'd told me, things might have been different if not between us, then maybe for him.  If I caught him in a lie and he knew it, he'd look guilty for weeks."

            "What did he lie to you about?"

            "Little things at first."  He said.  "Things that weren't quite lies, and I can't remember anything specific.  I know he was getting into some dirty dealings because he wanted to make money quick.  I'd ask him a question in such a way that should have been answered yes or no.  Instead, he'd ask me what I thought.  I thought what I wanted to think.  That he couldn't do anything wrong, and would never do something illegal.  He didn't see me for what I was at the time, or maybe he did, but he mistook me for a man his age instead of a kid.  I accepted from him what he wanted to tell me without questions even when I knew he was lying.  I had my secrets though, and he was greedy to know everything about me.  There are things I wasn't ready to tell anyone about though."

            "I hate secrets."  Lex said.

            "People have them, Lex."  He said.

            Lex met his eyes.  "What if the secret is half out in the open already, and you just want your friend to admit to the truth?"

            Grampa grinned.  "Ahhh...now I see how much you're like your grandfather, Lex.  There's something you haven't learned about life, and about friendship.  Everyone has secrets.  You keep yours, but you don't like when others keep theirs."

            Lex scowled.

            "Part of being a good friend is accepting the fact that your friend won't tell you everything about himself."

            Lex glared at nothing.

            "Clark's keeping something from you, and I know it pisses you off that he won't tell you."

            "It's not what he's keeping from me."  Lex said.  "I'd tell him anything he wanted to know, but he won't give me the truth.  I try to get him to tell me, but he lies to me."

            "Certain truths are sometimes best left buried."  He told him.

            "This truth is half-way out of the earth."  Lex said.

            "What truth might that be?"

            Lex said nothing.

            "Lex."  He said.  "You have a few skeletons in your closet.  I don't mean dark secrets that might shock someone.  I mean embarrasing little details that you wouldn't want your mother or your best friend to find out about.  You got something like that?"

            Lex thought about that, and then nodded.  "If Clark asked me outright, I wouldn't lie to him.  Even embarrassing as a secret might be, I wouldn't lie to him if he questioned me about it."

            "You'd mis-direct him though."

            Lex felt guilty.  He had done that.

            "I kept a secret from Len and I know it ate him alive inside."  He said.  "Killed our friendship eventually because I wouldn't tell him what it was."

            "If you knew holding that information away from him was hurting him, then why didn't you tell him?"

            "Think about how old I was, Lex."  He said.  "Fourteen or so.  Sensitive age, you know that.  Everything starts changing.  Little things get embarrassing for no reason at all.  I was working on getting over that phase of my life, while Len wanted to know so badly what I was keeping from him."

            "Are you saying you wouldn't tell him because you were embarrassed?"

            "Exactly."  He said.  "I wanted him to know.  But at that young an age it was to humiliating for me to talk about.  Eighteen was a little better.  Twenty, I was getting over it.  Twenty-three I was finally able to discuss it with my closest friends, but by that time, Len had gone out of my life as a friend.  We were just business associates after that."

            Lex blinked.  "You're saying, you didn't tell him because you were embarrassed by it?"

            "I just said that."

            Lex made a face.

            "What's the matter?"

            "You know what Clark's keeping from me, Grampa?"

            "Yes, I do."

            "Honestly, Grampa.  I don't really care what he's keeping from me.  But I don't like being lied to."

            "Don't ask questions when you know you'll be given a lie for an answer."

            "Why does he lie to me?"

            "Why does anyone lie about anything, Lex?"  he wondered.  

            "Fear of telling the truth."

            "He's a boy, Lex."  He said.  "You get to be my age, and sixteen sounds no different than twelve or three.  He's a baby.  Give him time to grow up."

            "At twenty-two, what am I?"

            "A young man, not much more than a boy who grew up way to fast.  Far as certain things go, you know as much as I do.  In other ways, you're as naive as Clark, maybe more so.  One thing I notice about you is that you don't know how to accept people at the face value they offer."

            "Why should I when there's so much more underneath?"

            "That kind of thinking will get you into trouble.  You push too hard and you'll lose every friend you ever try to make before you get close enough to them to learn the meaning behind it."

            "I know the meaning..."

            "You don't.  If you did, you wouldn't pester at Clark to tell you things he's not ready to tell."

            Lex felt himself getting angry.

            "That too, Lex."  He said gently.  "That temper of yours.  Quiet kind of temper, but it rages out of control inside of you.  Yer gramp was the same way, and his temper drove him over the edge and scared me away from him.  He got mad at me because I wouldn't tell him a stupid little secret.  It's what I called his demonic mood.  He scared the hell out of me so bad, I litteraly ran away.  I never went near him again."

            "You got scared because he threw a fit because you wouldn't tell your secret?"

            "Exactly."

            "What are you getting at, Grampa?"  Lex asked.

            "I'm getting at the reason why I wouldn't tell Len my secret."

            "Do tell."

            "I was scared of what he'd think of me."  He said.  "Afraid things would change between us.  That he'd stop being my friend, or that he'd look at me differently."

            Lex waited.

            Grampa said nothing.

            "Would you have told him eventually?"

            "Course not.  He made me feel like it was my duty to give him all of my secrets."

            "I don't understand."  Lex said.

            "People don't give in because someone forces them to give in, Lex.  They give in because they want to."  He said.  "Forcing a secret out of someone is sort of like raping a virgin.  Force her, and she'll run and hide and you'll never see her again.  Wait patiently, for her to give in, and you will get it eventually, and then she'll return and you'll get more.  You want Clark's secret, you just sit back, be patient, and don't make him think you have to know.  He trusts you enough so I know he'll let you have it one of these days.  Might take him years.  Maybe you'll know in a week.  I don't know.  But I know if you can let him be a child for a while longer, wait until he grows up some more, then you'll know.  You'll know, and I think the two of you will still be sitting back swapping bullshit when your in yer eighties."

            "You're saying that you know for a fact Clark trusts me enough to let me know his secret?  His most profound secret in the world?"

            "He wouldn't have brought you here, if he didn't trust you, Lex."

            Lex leaned back in his chair, and grinned.  "I wished he'd have told me the reason he didn't tell me wasn't because he didn't trust me."

            "Now, he's too young to understand things like that, and you should know it."  Grampa scolded.

            Lex gave the man a wide eyed look.

            "That right their is exactly what drove a jagged knife between your grampa and myself."  He said.

            "What was so horrible that you thought you couldn't tell him?"

            "I got kicked by a mule once upon a time.  Think I was about nine or so."  He said.  "Had to have one of my testies amputated for it."

            "Ow..."  Lex breathed, blinked, then scowled.  "That's a secret?"

            He nodded.  "It is when you're a sensitive kid.  I thought all that time he'd think I was less than a man, or maybe he'd be afraid my bad karma would infect him and he'd think he'd lose one too."

            "That's silly."  Lex said.

            "I was a kid.  Kids think silly things."  He said.

            "Clark's secret is a lot bigger than yours."

            "Is it really?  Or is it just something a little to the left and up two notches?"  He grinned at him.  "Lex, it doesn't matter what it is.  He thinks if you learned his secret you'll think differently of him, and maybe even be afraid of him."

            "Why would I be afraid of him, if I knew his secret?"

            "You probably wouldn't be, Lex.  The point is, he thinks you will be afraid.  He's a sensitive child."

            "He's not a child."

            "Not a man either."  He said.

            "Can't argue that point."  Lex said.

            Grampa got up to get another beer.

            Now that he was out of the way, Lex could see beyond him, out the kitchen door into the hall.  There was a picture of Clark he hadn't seen before.  It was of him at six or maybe seven, grinning softly, eyes bright and happy and clear blue and wide open.  Childishness shone through in that image, and he realized that even though Clark's face had changed and attained the look of a strong young man, his skin wasn't so rosey, and his cheeks weren't so round, but his eyes were still just as innocent now as they were in that picture.

            He looked away from the picture, thinking of pictures of himself.  The innocence that was visible in Clark's eyes at seven and at sixteen were the same.  Lex had lost that kind of innocense so long ago that he couldn't even remember a time when he'd been naive at all.  At three he'd been more conscious and aware of life and the world than Clark was now.  The day he'd ceased to be a virgin had been a monumental eye opening experience for him.  The last event which seemed to trigger adulthood, and had made him realize how little he really knew about the world in general.

            Clark barely knew anything at all about the world.

            Clark was still a virgin.

            "What's the matter, Lex?"

            He looked at Grampa, then smiled crookedly.  "Think I just got hit upside the head by reality."

            Grampa looked down the hall, and then at him and smiled.  "You better go on wake him up and get him home.  His parents'll worry if they can't account for him at ten o'clock."

            Lex stared at the old man.

            The old man stared back at him, a tiny grin on his face.

            "Yes sir."  Lex said.

ONE MORE PART TO COME…

I hope you guys had as much fun reading this as I had writing it, but I really don't think that's possible.


	8. Ch 8 final part

Christmas

By

Tayoni

~*~ Part Thirteen (Final) ~*~

            "Something on yer mind, Lex?"  Clark wondered.

            Lex blinked to clear driver's fog out of his head. Convenient street lights had been left behind long ago, and the high beams cut through the darkness and brightened the  road.  For two and a half hours, the road never changed.  It was like being on a treadmill, and it creeped him out sometimes.  Clark had been silent for the whole time and that was making him nuts.  Something was eating at him, he thought.

            It was a releif to see the 'Smallville' sign glowing irridescently in the headlights.  But there was still a long ways to go before they'd get into town.

            "Lex?"

            "Yeah, little something's simmering."

            "Well tell me."

            Lex couldn't let it out.  Not this.  Everything Clark's grandfather had told him was milling around in his head and he couldn't shake any of it.  There were questions he wanted to ask Clark, and on the other hand he didn't want to know the answer.  Clark had saved his life.  Did his freind feel like he'd saved the life of a demon?  That wasn't a question he could ask.  He knew dam well Clark would say, 'of course not!' even if he did feel that way.

            "Gonna tell me?"

            Lex started looking for something to say.  Let Clark think he was thinking about something entirely unrelated, but...

            ...that'd be like lying to him, and he didn't want to do that anymore.  Not even to smooth over a touchy subject.

            "Rather not talk about it."

            "Oh."  Clark said and glared ahead at the road.  He wasn't happy.

            Lex felt like a big hypocrite then.  Dammit!  Wrong answer!  He couldn't win for losing, but he'd put himself in this spot.  He was always after Clark, trying to make him let him in on secrets he didn't want to share, but here he was refusing to speak on the issue.  "Clark...?"

            "If you don't want to talk about it that's fine."  Clark growled.

            "Clark hear me out."  He begged.

            "I'm hearing."  He said, and there wasn't even the tiniest bit of humor in his tone.

            "Christmas day you wouldn't tell me who it was you had a thing for."  He said and didn't look at him.  "I have to admit I was a little...mad that you wouldn't tell me."

            Clark looked at him.

            Lex didn't look back.

            "You're mad cause I won't tell you who I got a crush on?"

            "No.  I was...but...I'm not now.  Stupid thing to think I have to know about.  Stupid that I got mad at you over it anyway."  He told him, and felt a little uncomfortable.  No.  A lot uncomfortable.  "Figured, it's your business.  We're good friends, but that doesn't mean I have to know everything their is to know about you, Clark.  Just...next time...you don't want to admit something to me, or I don't want to admit something to you..."

            "We won't lie to each other?"  Clark finished.

            "Right."  Lex said and grinned at Clark.  "Better off just to admit you don't want to speak on the issure than to lie."

            "Sometimes we lie accidently out of habit."  Clark said and then looked away, embarrassed.

            "If anyone understands that, Clark, it's me."  Lex said, keeping his eyes on the road.  "Crazy as this sounds, I wonder sometimes if I'm a pathological liar.  I can't help myself.  The lies just happen, and I hate it when that happens.  I'm some kind of a mental case, I swear.  Get so ashamed of the first little lie, that I keep covering up that lie and it goes out of control and...can't believe I'm telling you that."

            "Like I haven't figured that out yet."  Clark said.

            "I'm amazed you're still my friend."  Lex told him.

            "If anyone understands lies it'd be me, Lex."  Clark said.

            Lex saw the muscles in Clark's jaw bunching up.  He wished he could tell Clark that if anyone understood what it was like to be different it was him.  But it wasn't a thing to bring up.  Clark wouldn't want to talk about that.  He'd either be prompted to confess what he wasn't ready to spill, or he'd lie despite the conversation at hand.  So he left it alone.  "If anyone understands secrets, that's me."

            Clark glanced at him, and he looked a little frightened.

            "You got upset that day.  Christmas."  Lex said.  "You knew I was mad at you for not telling me who you got a crush on.  I think you got mad at me for getting mad at you.  Like...you figure I think you owe me all your secrets or something."

            Clark turned and gave him one of those wide eyed innocent looks.  He had to think about that for a minute before it all sank into his head.  "Yeah."

            "It's been bugging you hasn't it?"  Lex said.  "Me acting like your secrets should be mine, and you not wanting to part with them."

            "Yeah."  Clark admitted.

            "I'm such a jackass."  Lex said.  "Clark...I never had any 'real' friends before.  I always imagined that if I ever had one we'd tell each other everything but there I am hiding things from you while demanding you give me everything.  I'm a hypocrite!"

            "You're a smart hypocrite though."  Clark said.

            He turned and gave him a stupid look.  "What?"

            "Most people who are hypocrites don't see it."  Clark said.  "You know it now and you see it so you can change it."

            Lex grinned.  "How?"

            "That's a question for my father, but if you ask him, you'll get a two hour lecture."

            "Or a boot to the head."  Lex said and smiled as he turned down a road into the main area of Smallville.

            It didn't seem to take long enough for them to get into the Talon's parking lot.  Lex stopped his car to let Clark out.

            "It's only nine thirty, you wanna get a coffee?"  Clark asked.

            "Sure."  He said, and shut the car down.  As soon as he got out of the car, he noticed all the stars were standing out against a black moonless sky.  It was an amazingly beautiful sight.  "Love this town.  Didn't think I'd say that the day my dad kicked me out here.  Thought I'd been exhiled."

            "What do you think now?"

            "I'm home."  He grinned.

            "Lex, about that girl..."

            "You really don't have to tell me, Clark."  Lex said.  "Not about her, and not about anything you don't want to tell me.  All I wanna know is that you're my friend.  I don't need to know anything else.  I promise, that's not a habitual lie."

            Clark grinned, and Lex saw a little bit of that 'I got the weight of the world on my shoulders' expression drift away.  Was that what had been bothering his friend?  Was that why he'd been acting tense since Christmas?  "Thanks, Lex."  Clark said.  "You're a good friend."

            "Takes a real human being to teach a monster like me how to be a good friend, Clark."  Lex said.

            Clark was actually getting a little teary eyed.  "You're not a monster, Lex.  You're one of the most humane people I've met in my life."

            He felt himself grinning helplessly.  "That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me, Clark.  I think I'm gonna cry now.  Is this the part where we profess our undying love for each other?"

            "Oh, shutup."  Clark grumped.

            "Despite what I just said Clark, I am really curious."

            "Oh...no..."  He groaned.

            "Who in this world could have gotten your magnetic attention away from Lana Lang?"

            Clark laughed.  "Never telling."

            "Don't tell me.  Let me guess."  Lex teased as they crossed the parking lot.  "Nell?"

            "NOOOO!"  Clark complained.

            "My new maid?"

            Clark scoughed.

            "Good, cause I don't have a new maid.  I recently hired an old maid but..."

            "Shut up and let's just go get our coffee and my keys!"

            "You shut up!"

            "Was I talking?"

            "You were."

            "Was not."

            "Were too!"

            The back door of the Talon opened and the two of them went through it.  Lex and Clark's laughter, and Lana's friendly greeting spilled out into the parking lot.

            "SQUEAKY BALDEEE MAAAAAN!"

            Clark's fearfull yipe, and Lex's horrible squeak of indignity was lost as the Talon's back door closed.

END!

*Sigh

If only that could really happen in Smallville.

*****

Well, it's over, but did the fat lady sing?  I don't know.

Thanks to everyone for the reviews.  You guys are spectacular in more ways than I can find adjectives for.

I hope that you guys had as much fun reading this as I had writing it, but I doubt that's possible.


End file.
